Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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