There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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