sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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