Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
