yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
