Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
