Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think i got beer on your cat.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
