I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
