So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
