its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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