school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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