She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
