found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
