was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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