think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
