i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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