Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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