so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
