Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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