last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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