Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
