I heard we made out
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
