i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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