someone get that fucking seahorse.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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