i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
