he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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