apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The feeling are messing with the penis
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
