The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
