She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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