I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
