so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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