I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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