After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
