i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
