Already got asked if we're dating
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
