Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
