u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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