Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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