I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
