There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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