problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
