This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
