Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
