Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
