Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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