He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
