Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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