PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
