All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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