u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
