Hey man sorry I got all grabby
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
As shirtless as possible
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
