my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
